“Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then just eat one of the pieces.” Judith Viorst
I can so relate to this. We have all been brought up with different ways of handling setbacks in our lives. For some of us it may have been food but whatever it is, our response is a habit that can be tied to learned behaviours as a child. Many a time I’ve had an internal conversation about how I don’t need whatever it is right now, whether that be food, a T.V. break or some retail therapy. Depending on the emotional need I have to prop up that behaviour at the time, I will go ahead with the justifications or turn my back on the temptation.
It’s helpful if we can recognise the behaviour that is tied to the habits of a lifetime, habits that have been linked to comfortable routine. We can’t change them if we don’t see them for what they are. Mind you we may not want to and that’s another story. If you feel guilty and have the internal criticism or judgement going on, the trick is to notice the emotion you are feeling when reaching for that extra piece of pizza or chips. What is it about? When and how did it start? Do you really need something out of grans lolly jar when you have an injury? Do you really need to reward yourself with several beers while watching the rugby at the end of a long hard week, when one could have been enough?
Enjoy looking back at the emotional responses in your life!
“The walls we build around us to keep out sadness also keep out the joy.” Jim Rohn
Luckily life doesn’t go in a straight line or along a flat road. It is from the valleys that we are able to appreciate the beauty of the mountains. When we’ve had a day of rotten weather we really enjoy the days of sunshine. It may be hard to believe, that living in a climate that is fairly constant year in & year out, can get a bit boring. And so it is with our emotions. As human beings, life can have more meaning if we allow ourselves to experience the ups and downs of the journey.
If we’ve been hurt at some stage, it is tempting to think that the best way to handle future disappointments and hurts, is to build the wall around our heart to prevent the ‘enemy’ getting near. But of course then no one, not even the love of your life, can cross into your heart. It may feel safer but the highs and lows of life get flattened out into gentle undulations. The valleys don’t feel so low and deep but the highs don’t give us that same rush of hormones that make us feel good. Everything is watered down. Ultimately emotions are just energy in motion, labelling it as good or bad is just that – a label. It can feel courageous to let down the barriers, to allow ourselves to feel the comfortable and uncomfortable.
Enjoy taking down the walls that numb! Robyn
“Spectacular achievement is always preceded by unspectacular preparation.” Robert Schuller (Pastor, Motivational Speaker & Author)
The Commonwealth Games have attracted large groups of people from all over the world who are spending countless hours watching the skill of people who have a passion for the sport they’re involved in. These athletes are prepared to spend a huge chunk of their lives practising & perfecting their sport to a point where they can at the very least, gain entry to race or play against others in their chosen sport. This level of skill that we may marvel at doesn’t happen overnight. We all know that they’ve probably had to give up something else in pursuit of the excellence they are going to need to achieve their goal. This is called the Law of Sacrifice. In his book, “Working with the Law,” Raymond Holliwell says, “Something always has to be sacrificed for something else.”
It is all about the choices we make in life. We all have the same number of minutes in a day so how are you choosing to spend your minutes? We often label success as the financial achievement, or being recognised in our external environment. However, some will consider the progress they have made with their internal environment as being more of a successful milestone. Stepping up to the mark, may actually be the spectacular achievement for some, the milestones they have reached internally that generate the confidence to partake in the sport called life. Too often we are hearing of those who have found the going too tough, who have chosen to make the ultimate sacrifice, who haven’t felt safe enough to put in the preparation to be the person they want to be. What is the achievement your internal guidance system is nudging you towards? When will ‘now’ be the right time to start taking the preparation steps towards that achievement?
Enjoy your preparation!
“A man who wants to lead the orchestra, must turn his back on the crowd.” Anon
In the human race that we are all part of, a major part of surviving is the bonding we do with our fellow human beings. We connect with others whose energy we feel safe with. Before we even talk we are getting messages through our energy ‘feelers,’ about whether we want to continue reaching out to the person or moving on. It can take us out of our comfort zone to stand alone from the crowd even if we don’t feel that comfortable in the crowd we’re with.
I have coached people who are in this situation where they have outgrown the ‘crowd,’ but don’t have another group to join and it can feel very uncomfortable. It’s the same with a personal relationship. We would rather stay with the discomfort of what we know than move on to the comfort we don’t know. Helping people look at the fears that are keeping them stuck is part of what I do. The conductor may be turning his back on the crowd, but he is facing the musicians who are playing his music. What is it going to take for you to step into the life you would prefer?
Enjoy turning your back on the things and people holding you stuck!