“Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, undone or forgotten. So take it as a lesson learned and move on.
I am who I am today because of the choice I made yesterday.” Eleanor Roosevelt
I was watching an interesting talk recently from Kathryn Schultz entitled “Don’t Regret Regret.” She brought up two facts from research about being unable to regret. Apparently this inability is one of the diagnostics of a sociopath and also characteristic of some brain damage particularly in the frontal lobes. She quotes regret as, ”an emotion we experience when we think our present situation could be better or happier if we had done something different in the past.”
Apart from some interesting facts, she finished off her presentation by saying, that regret is one of our most important lessons. It teaches us that when we have goals and dreams, we want to do our best and we don’t want to hurt the people we love, so we should feel pain if things go wrong. However her final point was that it is OK to have regrets but that we shouldn’t hate ourselves for having them. We need to love the flawed imperfect situations we have created, and forgive ourselves for creating them. They remind us not that we did badly, but that we could do better.
Enjoy feeling regrets and learn the lesson!
“Our struggles are the short term lessons we learn to achieve long term success.” Simon Sinek
In 2009 Sinek gave a TED talk titled, “How Great Leaders Inspire Action.” In Jan of this year it was number three on the list of the twenty most popular TED talks of all time. A month later he released a book, “Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action,” which topped the best sellers list for corporate America two years later. Sounds like he has learned from his own struggles! I have talked before about challenges and let’s face it, we would all rather go through life without the challenges or struggles. Often they pop up at the most inconvenient times.
What if these times that can have more than one facet of problems and frustrations attached to them, brought our biggest learning? What if these moments are exactly what we need to transform and grow beyond what we currently are? What if others could see the leader in us because we were able to overcome the obstacles. This could be the inspiration they need to take action in their own lives and overcome their own challenges.! Like Sinet, it could be the inspiration for others that is the greatest pathway to our successes. Those short term struggles could be the exact experiences you need to go through in order to learn and grow so you can achieve great success.
Enjoy those short term struggles!
“You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again!” Anon
How many people have to wind their clocks up these days? It can give a sense of time just going on and on for ever, or at least until the battery runs out. I remember it being a habit that we had to do each day, like I now plug my phone into the power each night. With that simple act of winding a watch or clock or plugging the device into the power on a regular basis, we are looking forward, to make sure the watch doesn’t stop or phone continues to serve us next day.
Our past can always be useful to educate us as to what hasn’t worked, or gain education around anything we can name. But those experiences don’t have to label us or define us. We can choose to decide who we want to be from this minute right now. We can decide what we want to do with our lives in any given moment. What we decide to do now will affect us in the future until we decide again that we want to make further changes. Isn’t that exciting to think how we can influence our future purely by deciding to wind the clock up!
Enjoy starting each day as brand new baby day!
I want to talk this week about a movie rather than a quote. Last night I went to the movie, “Inside Out.” I probably wouldn’t have gone if it hadn’t been recommended, because it is an animated movie. Although I can appreciate the skill, I’m not usually a fan of turning up to an animated movie. However this one had been suggested from within a group where I am learning more skills and information to help me be a better coach. The film looks at some emotions and how they govern our streams of consciousness and colour our memories of the past. Five main emotions are portrayed in the life of an eleven year old girl.
It was interesting that ‘Joy’ was focused on as being the answer to all her problems. I have concerns that society seems to feel uncomfortable if we are anything other than bright, bubbly and happy. It’s as though sadness, fear and anger etc should be hidden away. I liked the way the film addresses this and shows support for the work being done at the Institute of Heartmath and others. Scientific studies are showing how emotions organise rather than disrupt our thinking processes and guide our perceptions of the world. It is through the child’s ability to get in touch with one of these ‘negative’ emotions that she is able to move into a new way of approaching her life.
If you enjoy embracing these sorts of concepts, I recommend that you go to the movie and allow your thought processes to go on a journey that the producers and directors created for us to enjoy.