Monthly Archives: January 2019

Do You Have Good or Great Conversations?



“A wise man fills his brain before emptying his mouth.”   African Proverb

I think this is a delightful way to say what sounds to me like, think before you speak or it’s more important to listen than it is to do all the talking. Either way we can co-create a much more connected conversation. But of course conversations are not just about the words we use, they are about our body language, and the energy we put out before we even open our mouths. We pick up electrical signals from the other person when we are within 300 cm. Once they do start to speak we can tell by the tone of their voice, whether we feel comfortable or whether we feel we can trust them. We can tell if the words they are using are excluding us or if they’re angry at us, whether we feel like we’re taking risks, going to be judged or rejected. If this happens we immediately activate the stress area of our brains. The area of the brain responsible for good connective conversations, the area that is good at making decisions and can trust other people, gets shut down.

What can happen is that we also assume certain things because of our past experiences, not just about this person but about experiences that are similar. We assume that everyone else thinks and feels exactly like us even though we know that to be untrue. We can find it difficult sometimes to walk in their shoes and feel what is going on for them and we don’t actually realise that our feelings can change our reality. Lastly all my experiences build up a picture as you are speaking but unless I ask some clarifying questions I may have the ‘wrong end of the stick,’ as they say. Paying more attention to our conversations can be very valuable if we want to improve our relationships at work and at home.

Enjoy feeling good as you connect in your conversations!

Have You Ever Wondered What Your Purpose is in Life?



“Knowing your purpose can dramatically enhance your experience in life. Purpose-driven people experience more fulfillment, more success, and often greater rewards than other people. Paradoxically, people who set out to live their purpose often make more money than people who set out to make money.”   Timothy Kelly

This does sound a bit grandiose but at the end of the day it is something that most of us want to be doing. We want to be doing something that fulfils us, that we feel is worthwhile. I’ve been pretty lucky in my life in that I have mostly been working in a career that I love doing. There have been times when I’m in a bit of a hiatus, in ‘the gap.’ But if I keep working on things that give me life then it feels as though I am on purpose. I have had doubts when working towards something that seems a bit elusive and I wonder if I am still doing what I have been put on earth to do. But if I keep finding things that create the experiences that give me joy I usually get a sense of purpose.

How have you been living purposefully? Do you get a sense of that energy and passion that Tim Kelly is talking about when you are following your heart rather than your head? Your best self will show up when you are operating from a place of purpose. It may be that your purpose is just to be on this earth as a nice person who others like to be around. Your best self will show up when you are operating from a place of purpose. Set your intention to make every activity you do today be packed with great pupose. I have been through Tim Kelly’s course about living on purpose so if you think you want to step up for 2019 and you need help to sort out your purpose, contact me. Remember nothing happens until you decide to take action!

Enjoy living and breathing your purpose!