Monthly Archives: April 2021

Are Your Habits Ruling Your Life?

“Habits are safer than rules, you don’t have to watch them. And you don’t have to keep them either…. They keep you.” 

Are your habits keeping you?

I am in the midst of preparing a Mater Class that I will run at the end of the month. In that I mention habits or patterns of behaviour that are being driven by our subconscious minds. Sometimes it is a behaviour we have been taught by our parents & we actually don’t realise that there is in fact another way to do things. I found this out when I yelled at a teacher & felt the shame of exhibiting a behaviour that was not allowed in our house. Only to find our years later that the teacher just accepted it as behaviour from a little person having to learn how to manage her emotions.  She didn’t regard it as shameful. We can also have habits we develop to protect ourselves & really we don’t need them anymore.

We can have habits that we are happy to keep, and there are some that we really want to let go of but the conscious mind isn’t strong enough to ‘muscle’ it out. Like smoking or wanting to lose weight, the subconscious wins a lot of the time. So we have to be sneaky to slip under the radar so to speak. When I first started doing my coaching training we had to look at a list of limiting beliefs and pick one that resonated. It was then suggested that that we just say the opposite. “No way.” said my subconscious, “I don’t believe one piece of that.” Later I learnt a tapping technique, to go ‘grey’ rather than black or white, by saying I choose to believe….. It’s not such absolute language & somehow it tricks the subconscious. Often we feel pleased we have got the upper hand on that one, then something else crops up, or something big triggers us again. This is apparently lifetime work folks – if you come to coaching I don’t expect you to come for life. We can learn skills that we practice going forward.

Enjoy changing those habits that you don’t want to keep you anymore!

With the Easter Break, did You Find Time to Dream?

“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.”  Rosabeth Moss Kanter

Have you a vision of who you would like to be or a life you would like to have?  This is more than a goal.  A goal could be to clean out the garage on a rainy day, hardly something inspiring for your life.  But that goal could be a step along the way to reaching the vision of how you see your life.

Just as we have been taught to write our goals in the present tense, we can write our vision as though we are living it right now.  The subconscious doesn’t have a concept of the future, it accepts the instructions as though you are living your dream in the present.

As you build this picture with words or as some do, a vision board of images that represent your dream life, remember some questions that need to be asked.

Is this dream worthy of me, do I want to give up my life for trying to achieve it.

Does my dream make me feel alive?  If not you will give up at the first hurdle.

Is it in line with my core values, do you know what they are?  You certainly won’t achieve something that doesn’t line up with what you believe about life.

Is this dream going to require me to grow?  Everything in nature is growing all the time.  It won’t stimulate us if we’re not growing.

Do I need help from a higher power?  Whether that be from another human being or whether you need intuitive guidance.

Is there some good in my dream for others?  A beautiful garden can be a real sense of joy for people walking by.

You need to answer ‘YES’ to all these questions.  If not you may need to go back to the drawing board and work out where the changes need to be made for you to grow into your vision.

Enjoy constructing your life!