I have just been reading an article and thought you might like to hear what advice the author was putting out. She was acknowledging the journey she has been on with the self-talk that she used to accept. Not any more! The problem is, we believe the nasty things we say, the judgements and criticisms. We all do it, and if we can learn how to reframe those thoughts, we can change the way we feel about ourselves on a daily basis. I was speaking to a client earlier today who said, “I’m my own worst enemy,” and we all can be but we don’t have to be all the time or even most of the time.
Sandy Woznicki highlighted 6 steps that she has found very helpful and I’ll put the link at the bottom so you can read the full blog article if you choose.
Step 1: Say hello – recognising that this voice is not actually you, can help step back and see the link to a voice from your past that is trying to keep you safe.
Step 2: Change how you experience the bully – this is the reframing I was talking about above. Reframing any situation that you don’t like or feel uncomfortable with is a great tool.
Step 3: Find the positive intent – these voices are always wanting the best for us and trying to protect us from doing something they think is out of our league.
Step 4: Choose a neutral or positive thought instead – instead of completely going to the other end of the belief system, add in another word like choose. E.g. I’m choosing to believe…. Or adding the word ‘yet’ e.g. I can’t do that yet!
Step 5: Give yourself permission to be imperfect – this is huge for a lot of people who have been brought up with the saying, “If you can’t do it perfectly, don’t do it at all.” Sandy suggests writing yourself a permission slip to be imperfect. I, Robyn, give myself permission to run a webinar and not do it perfectly.”
Step 6: Know that you are not alone and can ask for help if you need it. Even a good friend can usually help you see the positive things about you and support you to stay on track with the first 5 steps. And usually we can also find out that they have similar conversations in their heads too and that can be reassuring.
Enjoy standing up to your inner bully!