Are You Still Measuring Yourself Against Family Judgements?



“Don’t measure your progress using someone else’s ruler.”

Do you remember when you were at school and you got a report from the teacher? Sometimes this could be demoralising because we had been doing our best, but somehow it wasn’t enough to have registered as an upgrade in the teacher’s eyes. Other people don’t always know the battle going on inside of us and how hard we have to push to go through the terror barrier of the fear we are feeling just to turn up. It may take longer than we would like but gradually we can see signs of improvement. Of course it is so much easier if it is a physical thing like learning a new sport or learning to drive, everyone can see those tangible changes. But if it is something that is changing on the inside it may not be as obvious for others or ourselves.

Last year I had some coaching. Yes we coaches have to have coaching so that we can stay neutral and not get ‘triggered’ when a client behaves in a way that is uncomfortable for us. In coach speak, triggered just means to react to something that others don’t. These sessions were extras to a group programme we were doing. This is one time when I could measure my progress by the others who are used to notice triggering going on in themselves and others. Several noticed that I wasn’t being triggered as much as I had been at the start. I was letting things wash over me more. Although they had noticed, there wasn’t a sense of judgment one way or the other. I wasn’t being measured, it was an observation. If there are times when you feel out of step with others or the stress of a certain situation is ‘winding you up,’ you may consider getting some help from an impartial coach, who can guide you and give encouragement without a sense of being measured or judged. I offer a complimentary session so you can trial this coaching thing that sounds as though it could be a bit scary. Check out my contact details on the left side of this ‘newsletter.’

Enjoy noticing your own progress while ignoring the measurement of others!

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