“Loving people living in a loving world. Hostile people live in in a hostile world. Same world.  Wayne Dyer

I have an audio recording of Wayne Dyer talking about an incident where he was walking along the beach & met some people coming in the opposite direction. They exchanged words. The couple were new to the district so they were asking Wayne what sort of people lived there. His reply was to ask them where were they from and how had they found living there. They had only complaints and grizzles about their old town. Wayne replied that they would probably find the people here the same.

A little further down the beach he met another couple who stopped to talk. They also were new to the district and asked Wayne about the people in their new area. He replied by asking them also about how had they found the town that they had come from. Their reply was to say how lovely the people were and how much they were going to miss them. Wayne replied that they would probably find the people here the same.

I have never forgotten that short story about the expectations that we have of our environment and how we can influence it purely because of how we think and engage with those around us. Knowing this story, I was able to apply this principle to a situation I was in. I was feeling decidedly ‘out’ of circulation with those around me at an event. That night I purposely changed my view of how it would be the next day so that I wouldn’t go in expecting the same relationships. My day was completely different and how I had envisioned it being the night before. That taught me a big lesson about how much we can influence the outcomes in our lives.

Enjoy influencing your life’s outcomes!

“Acquire the courage to believe in yourself. Many of the things that you have been taught were at one time the radical ideas of individuals who had the courage to believe what their own hearts and minds told them was true, rather than accept the common beliefs of their day.”   Ching Ning Chu

I am just re-reading “The Biology of Belief,” by Bruce Lipton. It is a powerful book & this present edition is the 10^th. Our knowledge about beliefs is growing all the time, so he is constantly having to rewrite some parts to keep up with the new knowledge. He talks about the human brain being able to acquire perceptions from our teachers, and once we accept these perceptions as truths they become hardwired into our brains and then become truths. These truths that we have taken on from parents, significant adults, siblings and teachers, may be inappropriate and limiting and definitely habitual. All his research leads to the fact that our beliefs control our biology.

We also have an inner knowing that may refute the knowledge we are fed from those in authority. An example is that of the pharmaceutical companies who are pushing hard to have us believe that their drugs are the miracle cure for whatever. There are more and more people choosing to believe a different message, to make up their own minds about whether they want to resort to drugs with the side effects or not. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t use the prescriptions that are available, but as Ching Ning Chu is saying, we have the choice to follow a different message if our hearts and minds decide it is in our best interest, to have the courage to ignore those common beliefs, of the medical profession and pharmaceutical companies.

Enjoy standing up for what your heart and mind decide is right for you!

“Do all you can, with what you have in the time you have, in the place you are.” Nkosi

Nkosi was 12 when he died from aids. Before he did he became known for this quote as he influenced those around him with his spirit for life.

What is the one thing that, if you practised on a regular basis, you know, would improve your life? There is no growth in your comfort zone. Nature uses a birth canal to bring about new life. So if you’re feeling squeezed right now, it is because something is seeking to be born in you today. Breaking free of our negative conditioning requires us to challenge the limiting thoughts we have & take a step no matter how small, away from the conditioning we know is keeping us small.

If this resonates with you, make a decision that for a week you will take a little step today & tomorrow. In a weeks time you will be able to look back & see the progress you have made, without the judgement that it hasn’t been enough. If you continue to do this for a year you will have taken 365 steps towards your desires/dream – more than if you hadn’t taken any at all.

Enjoy doing all you can from where you are!

“The number one reason most people don’t get what they want is that they don’t know what they want. Clarity is power.”   T. Harv Eker

I have clients who come to see me who are at the crossroads in their life for very many reasons. One of the first things I do, is to get out the map or GPS and sort out where it is that they are going. Just like going for a trip in the car, if we don’t know where we are going, we are not going to be able to put the coordinates into the system. We could drive around in circles getting nowhere. We need to know where we are now and where it is that we are headed. Life is no different. A lot of women who no longer have children at home and who haven’t thought about what they want for a long time, have lost the ability to dream about their future. They can get frustrated when I ask them what is they would like, in say 12 months, and they have no idea.

Getting clear on that dream and the challenges they see that they may have to negotiate, are essential if they are going to get out of the driveway. Some people, as I say, have forgotten how to dream, because they haven’t had the necessary practice for a long time. Others weren’t encouraged as a child to do the dreaming that most of us do when we are little. The experts are now encouraging youngsters to tap into that part of them that has a knowing about the path to take. In my day, children who sang or danced in front of others was considered precocious. What if that is the core of who they are and they could be the next winner of New Zealand has talent? Many children are encouraged to go down a professional path by their professional family, but they really don’t want to. It is never too late to ‘jump ship,’ and follow the calling of your inner being. But being clear is the starting point.

Enjoy following your clear dream!

“Too many of us are not living our dreams, because we are living our fears.”

My journey along this personal development started with a state of fear that for a long time wouldn’t let me go. This was mainly because I didn’t know how to. Dreams that my husband and I had been working towards together had all gone when he died. I had forgotten how to dream on my own and the fear had taken over and I didn’t know how to change the track on the record. I was told that nature abhors a vacuum, and if I let the fears go, I could attract more pleasant and positive things into my life. It took me a while to get that combination right for me. After 2 or 3 ‘failures,’ I found the love I have for coaching pop up, and the fear disappeared. I’m not saying the fear has gone for good and I’m not sure that’s a reality anyway. But rather than the fear being in control, I have taken that job back now.

We are all different and for some, this scary step of moving through the fear into the unknown may be more difficult than for others. We may have an awareness that it isn’t ok to fail so it takes more focus, courage, and determination to pursue the dreams we want.  For others who are blessed with more ‘get up and go,’ and belief in themselves, it may be easier and they may find it hard to understand what the fearful ones are going through. However you have probably heard that challenges make us stronger and we could learn more from the experiences that we have worked through. So give yourself some time each day to dream, this may help the steps we need to take to surface, and yes we may feel some fear but we will all feel so much better about ourselves if take the first step and then the next. Before you know it, you’ll be living at least part of your dream.

Enjoy moving towards your dream!

“Even when opportunity knocks, a person still has to get up off their seat & open the door.”

It’s interesting that I should see this quote today. I have been following one of the online gurus for a while who has just put out a book called “Opportunity.” Apparently it is about how to find and create opportunities in your business and your life. After studying and interviewing hundreds of millionaire and billionaire leaders , his number one discovery was that They were better at finding and creating opportunity in their lives. They were also better choosing the best ones, then growing those opportunities to success.

Unfortunately we often have threats or challenges between us and the thing we want to achieve. We can all choose different ways to handle those challenges. As a coach one of my tasks is to help people find what their challenges are. Often they know that something is blocking them but we need to find what their beliefs, their thoughts or their self-image is all about before they can find the blocks, deal with them and move forward. We have all had different experiences as children and growing up, that have created beliefs about the world that are not a truth for other people who have had different experiences. Often it only takes a minor tweak to get these people seeing the opportunities and moving towards them with more confidence and trust in themselves.

Enjoy finding the opportunities and choosing the best ones!

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”  Wayne Dyer

I often talk about the choices we have in life and here I’ve found another quote relating to the choices we all have in every minute of the day. Sometimes of course the old conditioned mind chips in and ruins the best of intentions. It chips in and tells us that things are not the way they’re supposed to be, it tells us we haven’t achieved what we should have and it tells us how bad we are feeling because someone said something that wasn’t how we wanted it. I’m pleased that I have the choice. I can continue to work on being a person I’m more proud of because I haven’t let those outside situations affect me so strongly.

We’re all a work in progress and we can choose in any given moment whether we want to be miserable about those events that weren’t perfect, or we can choose to believe we can change our perspective, we can see the story from another perspective, we can feel compassion for not only the other person who we have reacted to, but also for ourselves for the choices we have made. I am so pleased that we have this choice, we don’t have to accept everything that happens like a true victim. What if I was to believe that there is always two sides to look at things and I have the choice to find the other way, find a way of seeing the gift in the situation, see the learning that will make me stronger next time that situation arises.

Enjoy choosing life on a moment to moment basis!

“Life is like a taxi.  The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.”  Lou Erickson

When a friend’s mother turned 65 she said she was going to join the NMAT club & when asked what that was, she replied Never Miss a Thing club.  She realized that her life was just passing by.  She had been using the excuse that she was too old to do….. It’s amazing the excuses we all use for not doing things & then regret those decisions. I’m noticing though that there are more people at older age groups doing all sorts of things that their age group wouldn’t have tried in the past. I saw a video clip on facebook of a woman aged 102 running in an athletic meeting. Apparently her time was a record for that age group. Do you plan to join the NMAT club?

What have you chosen to do with your allocation of 525,000 minutes for 2018?  Are they just ticking by, or are you achieving goals you have set? The minutes certainly seem to be ticking by more quickly than they did in the past, unless I’m sitting waiting for someone or something.

At the end of last year I had a wonderful school reunion, just for our year – Most of us had just had a big ‘0’ birthday, so it was pretty special when we reflected on the fact that some hadn’t reached this milestone. Watching the smiles on the faces, listening to the laughter warmed my heart.  We were talking about when to hold the next one & the general opinion was that we shouldn’t leave it too long. These moments are precious and will never be repeated in exactly the same way again.

Enjoy the gift of life for each of those ticking seconds!

“The conclusion that many heroes for a better world have discovered, is that helping others to be happy, is the surest way to find happiness.”  Robert Alan

Have you heard of psychic income?  This is the name for the feeling we get when we have done something for someone else that makes us feel good.  The more we can do in life that gives us that feel good factor, the better it is for our general vibration, our health and ultimately our happiness.  It can also give us a different perspective on life that makes us grateful that we have more health and fitness, or live in a better situation etc.  And as I’ve said in previous newsletters, gratitude in itself can raise our vibration. Anything that we can do to raise our own vibration is going to be of benefit, not only to us but also to those around us. So you can see that making others happy by helping them is creating happiness in ourselves and our loved ones.

The more we focus inwardly on how bad we personally feel when things don’t seem to be going that well, the less we exchange energy with the world around us.  We shut down our hearts in an attempt to protect ourselves from being hurt. When we do that the conversation between the heart and the rest of the body doesn’t flow well. The messages from the heart that could be about trusting others when we feel good, is more about being suspicious of others when shut down. Of course, the reverse is true: the more we focus on other people & strive to uplift them, the more energy we get flowing through our own hearts and spirits.  This is why the easiest way to feel better ourselves is to do something nice for someone else.

Enjoy being happy helping others!

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.”   T S Elliot

One of the things I’ve done over the years, is take to the ski slopes on 2 skinny planks of wood. I started at an older age than some kids do these days and I know that until my skill improved I was definitely quite fearful. I would see little kids racing down the hill out of control without any apparent fear to hold them back. Once my skill improved, I also got a sense of a carefree, gay abandon especially when racing down the hill with a bunch of others who were also testing their boundaries. At the end of the day though I didn’t have the desire to spend lots of time weathering winter after winter to improve my skills to a point where I could race at a competitive level. I was content to have my skiing as a pleasurable past time not at a professional level.

But maybe there are some other things I could have pushed myself to do that would have gained different results. What about You? If you haven’t reached for your full potential in something, do you know why? Is it because of fear? Is it because you haven’t been encouraged to take some risks over the years? Maybe it is your belief system that allows that little voice in the head to persuade you that it isn’t a good idea to step outside your comfort and go for it! Maybe that is even happening now. If so does this quote cause you to be resistant and argue in your head with the author? Or does it give you a kick in the backside to take the steps you know you have been procrastinating about? So does that mean, giving yourself an encouraging pep-talk and taking that step you know you need to take to move forward? Have you tried talking to the fears, doubts and anxiety? These emotions will usually pop up when we’re going into something new. Our non-conscious mind is all about keeping us safe so it wants to warn us when we try these new sporting or work related activities. It will also want to take charge when we’re going into a new relationship. When you recognise that it’s time to let go of the stranglehold these limiting beliefs have over you, and you persuade the uncomfortable emotions to take a back seat for a while, you can set your intention to achieve what it is that you want and go for it!

Enjoy working towards your dream!