“The highest reward for a man’s toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it.”

I have just been to Auckland for the weekend to teach cosmetic acupuncture. So with a 2 hour flight each way I decided I was going to read one of the books in my electronic collection. I selected one called “The Surrender Experiment,” by Michael Singer. This is a fascinating read for anyone who is open to the concept of getting out of your own way & letting the universe deliver the experiences you need. He started off believing that all he wanted to do was meditate his way to enlightenment, and he only did enough work to keep a vegetarian hippie alive in his van living in the middle of nowhere. But life had other ideas and he started to realise that there was no point in fighting what was coming his way, even though his inner talk would have a field day if he let it. Stepping out of the resistance, allowed him to see how much better the outcomes were and that the right people turned up to help him whenever he needed it, as he was asked to do all sorts of things he would never have done, left to his own devices.

He learnt that his life was to be in ‘service.’ A lot of us may shun this word and not want to go near the idea of service because of the old concept of servants having to do someone else’s bidding. What he found was, the more he quietened down the resistant voice & allowed things to happen, the more his life got more and more exciting. He had to learn things along the way that he would never have done had he stayed resolutely meditating his way through the day. Now I know that most of you don’t do that! But most of us do get caught up in the petty life dramas that turn up. Sometimes we will look back and see the lesson, but often we don’t consider what it is that we could be learning in the midst of it, and we don’t ask for the help we need to come out the other side having learnt things about ourselves, so that we’re continuing to grow whatever our age. This is definitely one of my lessons that I need to keep working on.

Enjoy learning to surrender to your experiences and learn from them!

“Honesty doesn’t have to be brutal, but it has to be honest.”  Simon Sinek

I remember when I was doing my coaching training. We had to do an exercise where we told each of the others in the class something that we didn’t like about them. Now sometimes we think we would give our eye teeth, as the saying goes, to tell someone what we thought of them. However in an exercise like this it can be quite difficult, much easier on the whole to say something pleasant or positive. One of the young guys in my group said he didn’t like how I was always honest. Now that came as a bit of a shock to me as I had always prided myself on my honesty.

In my manual of that course there was a section on communication styles. Lo & behold there was a name for the type of honesty I was portraying, Truth Mongering! As I read the description I realised this was definitely one of my styles. Always feeling I had to tell the truth and call a spade a spade. As I said earlier I prided myself on my honesty. And yes I can still feel the need to let nothing go unchallenged, I’m direct, forthright and can be argumentative to make sure the facts are clear. So this quote is definitely for me this week, to remind me how being brutally honest can upset people.

I talked last week about the epigenetics training I am doing – in fact I gave up some lovely weather to sit at my computer and learn more. Once we know the ‘Healthtype’ of person we are, and we are able to recognise other people by their shape and traits, we can learn to moderate our style to connect better with the person we are communicating with in this moment. An amazing skill to learn, because so much of life is about relationships and communication.

Do you think you have any of the traits I have mentioned? Take a moment and think about how you communicate and whether there is a need to make a tweak so that your message is understood and received. It is important to master your ability to communicate or connect with other human beings.

Enjoy communicating with honesty but without brutality!

I was brought up in a household ahead of its time, if I consider the food we were allowed or not allowed to eat. I know some of the sugar stuff was driven by a father who was a dentist – not that he did the whipping into line. We weren’t allowed to eat jam or drink cordial were the 2 main things I remember. So I had a fairly healthy childhood, with just the usual colds & coughs that kids get.

When my children were little I tried to follow my mother’s example, but they seemed to have more than their fair share of bugs going around, so I made an appointment to see a naturopath and that’s where my journey into being more aware of how we can choose to be healthy or not, really started. I sprinkled kelp on their savoury food instead of salt. I blended good oils with butter to avoid using margarine. We had lots of fresh salads rather than the stewed vegetables, my husband had been brought up on. But none of that prevented him from him going down with the big ‘C’ word.

As we were going through his journey of surgeries & treatments, we were introduced to the idea of eating according to your blood type & then another book came out Living According to you blood type. Luckily we were both the same blood group, so it meant only 1 lot of food to be prepared. It was interesting to learn that because we are in the ‘O’ group this meant being aware that we need our protein and don’t handle being a vegetarian that well. We also need cardiovascular exercise whereas those in the other major group…’A’ are happy to do yoga, and we respond to stress differently.

So 5 months ago when I was introduce to the concept of an epigenetic lifestyle, my ears pricked up. This has taken the differences in our human life to a whole new level. What is Epigenetics I hear you ask? You know that we are all born with genes that control the colour of our eyes and hair, but there are some that are can be influenced by our environment and our lifestyle, and they get switched on & off. We want to encourage the ‘good’ ones to stay switched on and keep the ‘bad’ ones off. As research has shown us more and more about how to do that, this science of controlling how our genes are behaving by choosing to eat well, have our exercise and good amounts of sleep, has become a very personalized way of looking after our health.

They have been able to show that there are 6 different types who respond to the world in predictable ways because of their epigenetic type. Each type has a different time scale of when they are best to sleep, eat, work, exercise and socialise. When you talk to people who know what group they are in, it is fascinating how that has changed everything for them….. how their lives flow better when they can do everything at an optimal time for them. I jumped into the opportunity to do an introductory course about this. I loved it so much, I’m about to spend the next 7 months digging deeper so that I can learn how to support others keen to follow their epigenetic type, to a life of flow.

Of course my life coaching sits alongside this well, especially as my style is all about authentically supporting my clients as they journey through the changes they want to make. My decision to spread my attention to health in a way that feels so right, is just another step along the path that started as an awareness as a child. Does this topic interest you at all? Contact me if you want to find out more.

Enjoy growing as you move through life!

“The best preparation for tomorrow is to do your best today.”

When I first started down the personal development track this was one of the first things I learned – that whatever we are doing right now is creating our tomorrow. And to be honest it’s not even just about what we’re doing, it’s also about what we are thinking. Our thoughts create the things, the doing, the being. One of my original coaches was told as a teenager that everything is created twice. This was a huge concept back in the 70s and 80s. Her mentor explained the future of things is created once in the mind and then in reality. In looking at this quote that preparation could be as ‘simple’ as preparing your mind with positive thoughts. This will certainly improve the experiences you are having in your life.

If we only look at this quote as a physical preparation you could fall into the trap of feeling that everything has to be done today. I can regularly fall into this trap and end up overwhelmed by the daunting list of ‘to-dos’ in front of me. However for some, the trap is always putting things off until tomorrow. We could call this procrastination. I can fall into this trap as well in an effort to let go of the overwhelm. As my Dad used to say, “There is moderation in everything.” Finding that sweet spot can be the challenge of life. What if your best today was to let go of the struggle of life and just relax. If I did that I might turn up to work tomorrow feeling more at peace with everything going on around me and be more pleasant to be around.

Enjoy living in the ‘sweet spot’!

“You owe it to yourself to be everything that you’ve ever dreamed of being.”

I have been on a training this weekend and we have been reminded that we need to be disciplined and consistent if we want to achieve what we want in life. However I am constantly finding clients who keep ‘falling over,’ and this is what our coaching sessions are about, to find out what is in their belief system that is causing this to happen. This quote was on an exercise & healthy eating website & I was reminded of a book, “Childhood Disrupted, How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology and How You Can Heal,” written by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. In the research she did for the book she found that there is an Adverse Childhood Event/Experience questionnaire that closely correlates the major illnesses we can have as we get older, and end up in hospital.

The doctor who came up with the concept of the questionnaire was having great results with people with a lot of weight to lose but he found a group of them would fall off the wagon just as they were about to hit their goal weight. On questioning, he found that a high percentage of them had had some trauma as a child in their formative years. They then took that same questionnaire into the hospitals to 26,000 white collar workers who had been admitted with heart attacks, cancer, autoimmune diseases and major depression. There was a very high correlation, and the childhood events weren’t always as major as we might all think. One of the worst was inconsistency in the behaviour of the parents, with children never quite knowing what Mum or Dad was going to be like today, so they became hypervigilant leading to anxiety that carried on into adulthood.

So next time you feel yourself letting go of another dream, remember that it may not all be your fault. We don’t want to stay hung up in blame, but we can start to be understanding and loving towards ourselves for whatever our form of ‘wounding’ is, and remind ourselves that was then, and we don’t have to live by those same rules any more. We can step forward into everything we have ever dreamed of being.

Enjoy taking steps towards your dream. You owe it to yourself!

I feel moved to look at a quote from Wayne Dyer today.  He had a strong influence on my need to connect with my own spirituality. When I heard he was speaking in Auckland a 5 years ago, I was very keen to be present. I felt lucky that I was part of that audience 2 days before he died.

“Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.”

In light of his passing on August the 29^th this is a very poignant quote. He had not long finished writing a book about his life, “I Can See Clearly Now.” This was one of the 42 he wrote. He certainly lived the words of this quote, showed us how to do it. Judging from all the tributes that were on face book and on various websites, his fans felt he would be sorely missed. However we can still gain positive, uplifting help from his many books and audio contributions.

He seemed dedicated to reaching out to as many people as he could, to help us live as spiritual beings in a human body. He was not someone who was born with a silver spoon is mouth. He was very public about his relationship with his alcoholic father who abandoned the family, leading to him spending many of his formative years in orphanages and social homes.

And then how his life turned around when he visited the grave of his father and turned his feelings of hate and vengeance to love and forgiveness. Our past helps to mould who we are today, but we don’t have to continue to live a life that could be restricting our future thoughts and actions. I am often talking about the choices we make in life, so I am finishing with another of Wayne’s quotes:

“Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made.”

RIP Wayne Dyer

Enjoy living each day!

“If we cling to the idea of hope in the future, we might not notice the peace and joy that are available in the present moment. The best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present moment.” Tich Nhat Hanh

Tich Nhat Hanh is one of the first people I heard talking about mindfulness and living in every moment. This morning I went on a webinar that was run by a health group who all live by their understanding of the epigenetic group that their body is ruled by. I may have mentioned this before. Each one of us belongs in one of 6 groups according to our bio-energetics.

We have understood over the years, that there is a thing called genetics, which we believed were set in concrete. It turns out however that there are some that are permanent and others that can be transformed. The ones we can change are talked about as epigenetics. Each one of these 6 different epigenetic types are driven by a set of different hormones or chemicals.

So this morning, one person from each epigenetic group was answering questions about how they saw mindfulness. It was interesting to hear how each person who talked had a different perspective on what the act of mindfulness meant to them, and how and when was their best time of the day. These characteristics they talked about, are commonalities for their group so a lot of light bulbs going off for those of us who could relate to what the representative from our group was saying.

At the end of the day each one was talking about the same thing, using the moment, to drop out of our busyness and enjoy the moment for what it is. We can stop waiting for some magical perfect moment in the future and live it right now!

Enjoy being mindful at some stage every day!

“Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”  Author unknown

Like my father I was born a worrier.  My conscious mind knows it does me no good to use up my precious energy on worrying about things that may never happen – see the cartoon.  Why live in a stressful future before we have to! Worry also pumps up the stress hormones and we make up more stories built on thoughts beliefs and memories. At the moment worry is a predominant baseline emotion for a lot of people!

However I have been conditioned since a young girl.  We may have got the message that we look important if we have a lot of problems.  Or that we like the drama & don’t have enough without worrying.  Being addicted to adrenaline could be seen as a way to fulfill the human need of excitement – not a very healthy way to get it, but drama could fuel that need. Or we simply may have no idea, it’s just the lessons we were given that worrying is the behaviour of choice.

So I’m constantly using all the tools I have learnt over the years such as replacing the worry thoughts that are disempowering with more empowering ones; use the what if phrase in a more positive sense thinking about the things that could go right; do some mindful deep breathing which brings us back from the future to the present; and do this crazy thing called meridian tapping that you may have heard about.  Whatever it is that works for you, I suggest you get yourself off the worry rocking chair & do something that keeps you in the present.

Enjoy deactivating the worry button!

“Happiness is contagious.  Start an epidemic today!”  – Anon

Being happy is a choice.  If we wait for outside circumstances to make us happy we may be waiting for a long time.  If we choose to be happy no matter what, we will attract people to us who will appreciate being around a positive happy person. Think about who you would rather be with – a grumpy judgmental person or a happy person, full of possibilities?  And at this time in history we could choose to be fearful especially if we listen to everything the media is churning out about the pandemic!

Have you heard of being mindful?  This is being 100% in the moment of what you are doing.  Not nodding at your child as they tell you about their school adventures, while your mind is thinking about other things.  Not going for a lovely walk along the beach or other nature habitats, but completely oblivious to the screech of the gulls or the cheep of the fantail, because other things are occupying your mind.  Choose to be happy in this very moment regardless of circumstances.

We can’t be happy in the past, it’s been and gone (we can remember an event that brings a smile to our lips.)  We can’t be happy in the future because it’s not here yet (we can visualize happiness at some time ahead of us.)  But why not try being happy for no reason, right now & now & now!

Put a smile on your face and others will start wondering what you are up to, or want what you’ve got.  It’s hard not to smile when someone else smiles at you.  It uses less muscles and the feel good chemicals are released which can only be good for your health. The fear being spread around at the moment winds up the stress centre and cortisol is pumped out, making it so much harder to feel any happiness which in turn affects our immune system. So let’s all work on spreading the happiness pandemic, it could be contagious!

Enjoy smiling and choosing to be HAPPY!

Spectacular achievement is always preceded by unspectacular preparation.”  Robert Schuller (Pastor, Motivational Speaker & Author)

The Olympics or Commonwealth Games attract large groups of people from all over the world who spend countless hours watching the skill of people who have a passion for the sport they’re involved in.  These athletes are prepared to spend a huge chunk of their lives practising & perfecting their sport to a point where they can at the very least, gain entry to race or play against others in their chosen sport.  This level of skill that we may marvel at doesn’t happen overnight.  We all know that they’ve probably had to give up something else in pursuit of the excellence they are going to need to achieve their goal.  This is called the Law of Sacrifice.  In his book, “Working with the Law,” Raymond Holliwell says, “Something always has to be sacrificed for something else.”  Even if you consider something as simple as watching a programme on TV, there are other channels we could watch, there are programmes like Netflix or you tube. We could choose not to watch at all and go out for a walk.

It is all about the choices we make in life.  We all have the same number of minutes in a day so how are you choosing to spend your minutes?  We often label success as the financial achievement, or being recognised in our external environment.  However, some will consider the progress they have made with their internal environment as being more of a successful milestone.  Stepping up to the mark, may actually be the spectacular achievement for some, the milestones they have reached internally that generate the confidence to partake in the sport called life.  Too often we are hearing of those who have found the going too tough, who have chosen to make the ultimate sacrifice, who haven’t felt safe enough to put in the preparation to be the person they want to be.  What is the achievement your internal guidance system is nudging you towards?  When will ‘now’ be the right time to start taking the preparation steps towards that achievement?

Enjoy your preparation!