“If there are no ups and downs in your life, it means you are dead.”
A few years ago I was doing a trek in Nepal, and on the first day we were walking along the valley floor and the guide pointed upwards and said, “That’s where we are staying tonight.” My heart sank, to see the height of the hill/mountain we had to climb. But there was no alternative and we had chosen this particular route so that we could see the sunrise from the ‘top of the world,’ the next morning. And what an experience that was, with hundreds of others from all parts of the world, joined with one common exciting purpose. So the contrast was amazing! Yes it would have been easier to just walk along a flat path, but we would never have had that fantastic experience.
Life is also like that. How do we get the contrast of light and shadow, of good times and ‘bad,’ if we only ever have one basic experience? Life would become monotonous. The rich tapestry of special moments wouldn’t be treasured, if we didn’t have some challenges to gives us the contrast. Maybe even some pride in ourselves when we have overcome something that perhaps we didn’t know we could do. It takes acceptance of both the good points we have and the points we would rather hide, to make us who we are and what we have to offer the world.
Enjoy staying alive with both the ups and downs in your life! Robyn
“Be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, you build the trust of those who are present.” Steven Covey
On the inverse of this can you remember times when you have heard people talk badly about their friends and then you’ve wondered, what are they saying about me behind my back? The trust factor, that is so important for all relationships, starts to slip. I have quoted before from the book, Conversational Intelligence. In there, the author Judith Glaser, explains that we have to have trust, to co-create a great relationship with others. Trust can be built up or down in .07 sec of meeting someone. If distrust is stronger we are activating the part of our brain that is related to stress and we produce the hormones adrenaline and cortisol as a result. These chemicals shut down the part of the brain that is the executive brain. The part that makes decisions, is able to share, be open, transparent and inquisitive.
In that .07 sec we are getting messages from the tone of the voice; if we are being made to feel bad or minimised; if we feel we are taking risks and scared that we will be rejected; if we feel excluded or that someone is angry at us; or minimising our power, the stress centre or amygdala pumps out the stress hormones and shuts down the part of the brain that is trying to make decisions. So if you hear someone talk ill of others, your distrust centre, the amygdala, lights up and shuts you down from contributing in an open way. Conversely, if you hear someone speaking up on behalf of a person who is not present, you will relax into the conversation and feel safe.You will put out hormones that create bonding and a feel good factor with that person. In other words you will trust that person.
Enjoy being the person that others can trust.
“Instead of being afraid to start a new chapter in your life, be as excited as you are when reading a really good book and want to know what happens next.”
Here we are half way through 2017. How do you feel the written material on the pages of the left side of your book of life, are looking? Are you excited about the empty pages on the right side of the book? In the last two weeks I have talked about procrastination and sticking your neck out to achieve the results you want in life. I talked about the limiting beliefs that may be holding you back. If they are, you may very well not feel that excited about your future. You may be finding it hard to conjure up any enthusiasm or believe that you can write anything different on the blank pages.
What if you were to ask yourself a question that started with “What if,” expecting a great positive result? The universe is going to match that enthusiastic question with an enthusiastic response. If you can keep that energy high, positive, enthusiastic or excited you will start attracting things into your life that have that sort of energy. We attract what we think about and have an emotional attachment to. I can hear some of you saying, “but I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work.” We have to stay in that energy of belief and enthusiasm for our future for as much time as we can. Thinking about it for 5 minutes in the morning and then resorting to the doubts and fears will just undermine your best intentions.
Enjoy being excited about that new chapter you are about to start!
“Behold the turtle: he only makes progress when he sticks his neck out.” James Bryant Conant, educator and diplomat 1893 – 1978
Last week I talked about procrastination. Do you think you have put off doing something because it could mean you will be sticking your head above the parapet if you do it? When we stop procrastinating we may have to stick our necks out. How does that feel, does it bring up limiting beliefs, beliefs that have held you back from doing what you really wanted to do, for most of your life? Is it time to step out beyond those beliefs and fears, and make a stand for that life you know at your core is what you want. Is it time to recognise that the procrastination is a smoke shield for the fear that you may not have what it takes?
I’m sure you have heard of the Law of Attraction. We all have the ability to make changes to our lives to be in line with our vision. We do have to believe that we can do it. If we’re going to stick our necks out we need to have a big WHY! If we’re putting the message out to the universe that we know we can achieve our dream, and we know why it so important to fulfil that dream, we are more likely to stick our necks out regardless and achieve what we believe is possible. Doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result, has been termed insanity. When are you going to stick your neck out and go after your dream?
Enjoy sticking your neck out!
“Do you know what happens when you give a procrastinator a good idea? Nothing!” – Donald Gardner
I think we’re all guilty from time to time of this one. Napoleon Hill says in his book, “Think and Grow Rich,” that it is a form of being indecisive – sitting on the fence.
Lisa Jimenez wrote a book called “Conquer Fear.” In that she talks about the four inherent needs of human beings in general. One is the need for excitement – some of us need more than others. She says that procrastination could be seen as a way to get excitement, because of the adrenaline rush we get when we are racing to get something finished before the deadline. Yes I’m guilty of that!
Procrastination can also be because of a need to be perfect, who of you out there knows this one. We have a fear of our work being judged. Of course life being what it is, we will probably get judged by someone anyway, so why not get started and give yourself the chance to spend enough time on the preparation to turn out your work to the best of your abilities at that point in time.
Think about some of the opportunities we are missing, because we don’t make the decision to act now, on the ideas that are coming through daily. So what, if it’s the wrong decision – it may be a huge learning opportunity for us. Our whole lives are about learning something whether through active choice, through mistakes or not moving i.e. procrastinating. Procrastination could be seen as a decision to not move and that will have consequences just like the consequences of going ahead and doing something that turns out to be the wrong move. The universe will keep putting these lessons in front of us one way or another so why not learn the lesson NOW!
Enjoy moving on those decisions!
“The first to apologise is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest and the first to forget is the happiest.”
I have just been doing some work over the weekend on a technique called ‘Conversational Intelligence.’ The main thrust of this technique is to use it in businesses but of course it has a big impact on any conversations in any relationship. If we are in a conversation with anyone and we feel threatened in any way, our brain reacts as though in fear and the stress response follows. The hormones released cause the part of the brain that is responsible for making great decisions and thinking through problems, to get shut down. Conversational Intelligence is about saying things to staff, co-workers, friends or family, in a way that is not going to stress them. Sometimes this feels like we are being brave as we open up a conversation that may elicit a negative reaction.
To then forgive, is remembering that it is not about turning the other cheek so we can get hurt again, but more about us moving on and letting go of the hurt that is now in the past. We can’t change what has been done. Staying in the hurt is supporting the victim part of ourselves and that does not usually feel strong or empowering to be in that place. So forgive for your own sake, to feel strong and move forward. If you can then forget that past event, live in the present and move towards the future with optimism you will be happier.
Enjoy forgetting the wrongs that have been done!
“Be mindful of your self-talk. It’s a conversation with the Universe.” David James Lees
We live in an energetic world. Everything is energy including the chair you are sitting on and your body, your mind, your thoughts, your self-talk. The Quantum Physicists turned our physical world upside down when they discovered what we now know about the energetic laws of the world. Every time we have a thought and the emotion that follows, we are creating a wave of energy that is going out into the Universe. I have seen an experiment where they showed how different wavelengths can affect iron filings differently. So at X frequency the same pattern would show up each time, and the higher the frequency, the more intricate and beautiful the pattern.
Our thoughts and self-talk are no different. If the frequency we are putting out is slow and heavy, they will attract slow, heavy people and experiences into our lives. On the other hand, if we are being confident and powerful, that is the sort of experiences we will attract. We all have the choice every minute of every day, with what frequency we want to put out. If we have learnt to tune in regularly throughout the day to our bodies wisdom, we will find out how we are feeling, not what we are thinking. Like a GPS this will guide us to stay on the same frequency or to pick up the rate to attract more desirable experiences into our lives.
Enjoy vibrating at your optimum level.
“The winner is the one who is willing to get out on the field and play the game.” Vince Lombardi
A lot of my life I have felt as though I have the brakes on. I have had a sense that I could do more but progress has been slow. I have made progress though because I am in the game taking steps each day albeit baby steps. I was doing some work today and had a sudden realisation that if I can do as much as I have with the breaks on, how much more progress could I be making if I let the brakes off. We all do it from time to time, maybe all the time, but at least most of us are out there in life doing all we know how to find the next step to take, to find the path we should be on.
Are you aware of what it is that is slowing your progress or in fact bringing you to a complete halt in the area you have chosen to follow your dreams? Are you listening to the inner critic that is telling you, you aren’t good enough, that you’re not going to make it, or whatever version you have spinning around and around in the CD of your mind? Don’t listen to that old stuff. Bring a new version into play that is more empowering. Winning is not about a competitive race to the finish line of life. Winning is about taking power over those voices in the head, telling them that things have changed, you no longer believe what someone said to you in an off moment back when you were 3. It’s time to listen to the new positive CD message and step into life with a whole new outlook.
Enjoy kicking those critical messages to touch!
“You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.”
Our goals don’t have to be as lofty as to want to be the next Mother Theresa, but whatever they are, to get there we have to master those thoughts that are whizzing around inside us. What if they’re positive and empowering? Great, as long as they are the predominant thoughts! Having control to move past the repetitive doubts and judgements is paramount if we want to attract the life we want. And to attract the life we want we have to become the person it takes to attract that, be the person who has positive thoughts predominantly, be the person who shows enthusiasm for life and expects things to work out.
This doesn’t mean challenges don’t come up. It means that when they do, we look at them from a new perspective, to find solutions that are going to work in the medium to long term. So rather than dwelling on the problem as it is today, look forward to the goals, outcomes or dreams we want & find a solution that is going to get us back on track as quickly as possible. In doing so, we grow in the process. We become the person who can handle the setbacks, who knows who they are and how they can make the choices not governed by the conditioned thoughts we have grown up with. Now is the time to be aware of how your mind is in charge and how you can help it grow up as well, so it doesn’t stay as a 3 year old for ever like Peter Pan. It’s time to take charge and feed your mind, new more empowering beliefs, to help it think new thoughts, so that it joins you in mastering the new way of being!
Enjoy mastering the new thought processes!
“You are better off without certain people in your life. Let them go so you can grow.”
When searching on Google for an image to portray the sentiments of this quote, I came across a couple of others in the same vein. Paul Coehlo is quoted as saying, “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” There is an energetic understanding that when something is gone it creates a vacuum and apparently nature abhors a vacuum so it will find something else to fill up that space. If our energy is not drained or dragged down by something or someone who doesn’t feel good in our life, we have the energy to move towards people and things that do feel good. But yes I know, that coming to that decision may not be as simple as it sounds.
I found another quote on the images page attributed to Dr Suess, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” Having the attitude to find the benefit or the gift in every experience, causes our whole chemistry to change. Our brain starts firing differently, the feel good chemicals are released instead of the stress hormones. We start to operate from a completely different mindset and interact with others differently. From that state we look out into the world searching for more of the positive experiences to match with how we feel.
Enjoy letting them go!
“Habits are like financial capital – forming one today is an investment that will automatically give out returns for years to come.” Shawn Achor
As with anything in life we can have both positive and negative habits. Habits can have started as young as toddler age. Some may have been taught to us by those around us. Others have been soaked up by ‘osmosis.’ Energetically from birth we can pick up how our parents are feeling, even if they try not to let the children know things are not good or show their true feelings. Children can pick up on that energy. We all then as youngsters, develop habits of behaviour to protect ourselves, to be little perfectionists so that we don’t get judged and criticised, to learn ways that will keep us safe not only physically but also emotionally.
This is not a conscious behaviour. It is all part of the subconscious that makes up approximately 95% of who we are and how we behave, especially when under stress. If we are not aware of the habits we have, we can’t change them to be less reactive. Even if we can notice after we have reacted, that is a start. We can then make plans, we can learn new ways to reframe the way we look at our experiences. Like saving money when we are young, the sooner we start acknowledging that we want our habits to change, the sooner we can have different experiences for the rest of our lives.
Enjoy exchanging negative habits for habits that are empowering.