“If there are no ups and downs in your life, it means you are dead.”
A few years ago I was doing a trek in Nepal, and on the first day we were walking along the valley floor and the guide pointed upwards and said, “That’s where we are staying tonight.” My heart sank, to see the height of the hill/mountain we had to climb. But there was no alternative and we had chosen this particular route so that we could see the sunrise from the ‘top of the world,’ the next morning. And what an experience that was, with hundreds of others from all parts of the world, joined with one common exciting purpose. So the contrast was amazing! Yes it would have been easier to just walk along a flat path, but we would never have had that fantastic experience.
Life is also like that. How do we get the contrast of light and shadow, of good times and ‘bad,’ if we only ever have one basic experience? Life would become monotonous. The rich tapestry of special moments wouldn’t be treasured, if we didn’t have some challenges to gives us the contrast. Maybe even some pride in ourselves when we have overcome something that perhaps we didn’t know we could do. It takes acceptance of both the good points we have and the points we would rather hide, to make us who we are and what we have to offer the world.
Enjoy staying alive with both the ups and downs in your life! Robyn
“As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it’s leaning against the right building.” Jackson Brown Jnr.
So what is the right building? Sometimes that isn’t apparent until we have gone up a lot of rungs. Years ago I had the desire to make clothing for a certain group of women & the timing wasn’t right, so I didn’t do it. But that desire kept burning on. It became a desire that changed focus but I still put a team together to make clothing for a particular group of women. But maybe my ladder was against the wrong building because it wasn’t the success I had hoped for. It was the second ‘failure’ at around that time, and it caused me to doubt my abilities to run a successful business on my own. But something was pushing me onwards, towards a new venture which touches my heart & soul. It is the emotional life coaching that I love to be involved with today. I’m quite sure this particular ladder is up against the right building this time!
Do you know at the core of your being that you are doing exactly what lights you up? Are you giving yourself time amongst the busyness to feel into your body to get that information, to listen to the intuitive nudges we all get each day? Try setting aside that time, set a clock if you need to, so that you can relax knowing you are not going to make yourself late for the next thing on your calendar. Don’t get disillusioned if you’re not hearing the answer straight away. This is an exercise, just like exercising a muscle. You know your muscles don’t bulk up overnight. A word of warning! The mind will continue to chatter. Acknowledge that, then bring your focus back to the breath. This helps to take you out of your head and it’s destructive chatter. I would love to hear how you are going with this small but important exercise. Before you know it the 5 minutes you allowed at the start will become 10 or 15 as you feel the benefits.
Enjoy some still quiet time every day!
“People think I’m disciplined. It is not discipline. It is devotion. There is a great difference. Luciano Pavarotti Opera singer 1935 – 2007
Another word for devotion could be passion. There is a lot written about the driving force that passion can bring to whatever we are doing. It helps us to stay in the zone when the will power has dried up long ago. Pavarotti is only one of many who have achieved greatness in their lives because they have the passion and also the belief in themselves. It is this devotion or passion that helps anyone overcome the challenges that they face on a daily basis. If we have this magic ingredient of the devotion, the discipline is not needed the same. When we first start something, we may need the discipline to keep us going, until we feel the thrill of having achieved a new skill, and can see how this new skill can create the dreams we may not have dared to dream when we were younger.
Perhaps you tried something when you were younger but didn’t feel you had the time to pursue it. It has lain dormant for all those years and you now have a hankering to pick it up again. It may take some discipline for the first 3 weeks or so . When the rusty skills develop quickly and we get that positive burst of energy through our body, we could get hooked into the feeling of the passion. However like everything in life according to the Chinese way of looking at health, there can always be extremes of anything. Be wary of allowing this new found ‘addiction/obsession,’ to tke over your life completely. As my father is always saying, “moderation in all things.”
Enjoy following your passion!
“Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do.” Pope John XX111
Looking back at the things that haven’t worked, listening to the inner doubts, fears and frustrations can only lead to more of the same. But how do we let go of those thoughts that keep whizzing around in our heads. Yes we’ve done the exercise, that reminds us that none of these thoughts that are creating so much havoc, are true. Yes we’ve had a great day when we got in the zone, completely lost track of anything else than what we were doing, but at the end of the day when we’re tired, we find it hard to keep out of that downward spiral. And yes reality keeps jumping up to remind us we haven’t got where we want to go yet. Ah, that word reality.
We are creating that reality by allowing those negative thoughts to dominate. We are allowing that reality by being critical & judgemental of ourselves because we haven’t had positive thoughts for 100% of the day. When we judge ourselves, it might as well be that critical parent or teacher who set us off on this path of nervously wondering how we could make things better. Focusing on those fears just keeps reminding us of a past we would rather forget. Focussing on the frustrations makes us forget the great things that have happened today. And focusing on what we’ve failed at doesn’t take stock of the fact that like Edison we have found something that hasn’t worked. Let’s move forward to something else that we know will work and change our reality.
Enjoy picking yourself up with a smile each time you fall down!
We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” Abraham Lincoln
When I was training to be a life coach we were continually being reminded that our job is to help our clients reframe, refocus and/or redirect. How we have been brought up, whether from family and friends, teachers or society in general, has conditioned most of us to look at life from a particular perspective. Along the way we may learn that our view is not the only view. That may come as a shock or a pleasant surprise. The sub-conscious mind can be pretty persistent in reminding us of this view. We need to do something conscious to make the changes we know we need to make. There is a lot of talk about affirmations. Sometimes doing this can create a battle inside us, as the mind keeps reminding us of how things have been, and its job is to keep us safely entrenched with that view. One slight change to the wording can ‘trick’ the mind into allowing us to make changes.
Meridian Tapping or what you may know as Emotional Freedom Technique, can use a phrase that starts “I choose or I am choosing.” Somehow the mind doesn’t see this as quite the threat as it would, if we used a more concrete statement that conflicts with its view. I have just watched a hypnotherapist, Marisa Peer, on a facebook post. Her big thrust to the world is about changing the views of people who don’t think they are enough in some way. Her statement, that she suggests you put up all around your home is, “I AM ENOUGH.” She then backs this up with, “I have chosen to do this,” and “I have chosen to feel great about it.” Try putting these statements into your daily life and see how quickly your world view changes.
Enjoy picking those roses despite the thorns!
“Whether you are sixteen or sixty, your whole life is ahead of you. You cannot change one moment of your past, but you can change your whole future.” Matthew Kelly
This may seem pretty obvious to some of you, what’s past is past. But most of us still keep going back over things we can’t do anything about. We allow it to affect what we are thinking about today. We allow it project forward to things that we believe could turn out the same way again and cause fear, worry and anxiety which spoils the present moment. Even though the past holds some amazing keys for us, and serves as a tremendous teacher, we can’t allow misfortune, difficult experiences and failures to hold us back from a positive future ahead. If we do look back, it should only be as a guide, of what not to repeat.
So many great names in history are seen for the wonderful things they have achieved for mankind. Often what we don’t see, unless we read their biographies, are the trials and setbacks they have had to overcome, to achieve their dreams. They have a passion to use the pain of the past and the pleasure of the dreams ahead of them, to move forward to a different future. As an older person I have felt for some time that we all have the ability to achieve what we want, and it concerns me to see others who have been brought up to see age as a barrier. If you have had a personal email from me, you will see I have in my signature, “Youth and Vitality At Any Age.” Don’t allow the societal values you have been brought up with, in regards to age, to dictate what you want to do with your life, whatever age you are!
Enjoy following your dreams until you die!
Remember Dunedin Women, I am running a workshop on July 30th 2017, 9.00am – 4.30pm. “The Art of Feminine Presence – Be Seen, Be Heard, Inspire Change.”
Every woman deserves to be seen for who she is…and appreciated!
Feminine Essence lives inside every woman. It’s an energetic, empowering and magnetic quality that has nothing to do with the way you look on the outside. When a woman embodies her feminine essence she does not need to project a powerful persona to attract the respect and attention she wants. She becomes attractive, radiant, sensual and grounded.
Contact me (Robyn) to book a space, bring a friend for free if you book before July 15
Ring 03 456 2246 or 021 281 6438
“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is pulling you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus and keep aiming.”
Another way of putting this is to look at a couple of the natural Laws of the Universe that we may not have been taught at school. One of these is about the equal and opposite reactions. This would fit well here. As the quote says the equal and opposite would provide a great forward movement after pulling the arrow back as tight as the bow would allow. The other is the Law of Polarity, which means simply there are always two sides to everything. You can’t have an up without a down, an in without an out, and so on. Once again this would fit our quote. In this case, once you have pulled that arrow back until it is very tight it can’t not go forward when you let it go.
So what are in despair about right now, what feels like it is a struggle? Is it your health, your career, your money woes? Do you have trouble having faith that things will get better? Our belief is such a strong force in the world. What practice can you put in place to help remind you of the belief that comes through in moments of optimistic excitement? A practice, that will put the doubts and fears firmly in the back seat, and give you back the steering wheel! Keep reminding yourself of how good you can feel when things are going right and then stay in that vibration for as much as you can. Showing gratitude for those things that haven’t happened yet will also show faith that you know the change is on its way.
Enjoy vibrating at a higher vibration!
“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” Babe Ruth
Babe was well known for the number of home runs he had. What is it that you want that you would call a home run? What are you doing to get there? Often the hardest things, is to get started. The self-talk can always find reasons why we won’t get a home run, so we put off taking that first step, we procrastinate. The fact is, “if you do not GO after what you want, you’ll never have it, if you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.” Even salespeople use this knowledge of statistics. They must keep asking and be prepared for the ‘No,’ to get the ‘Yes.’ As I read on facebook yesterday, “if you do not ask, the answer will always be NO.
So what is it that you are not going after or stepping forward into? Even if you can take a baby step towards what you want, and then another and another. Slowly but surely you will start to build momentum and like the snow ball rolling down the hill as you gain momentum you will pick up more of what you want along the way. Having the courage to risk a fall, a setback, will give you confidence to continue to take the chance as you overcome the obstacles or challenges that will inevitably pop up. Let me know what your experiences have been as you take steps into the unknown.
Enjoy taking even baby steps!
“Be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, you build the trust of those who are present.” Steven Covey
On the inverse of this can you remember times when you have heard people talk badly about their friends and then you’ve wondered, what are they saying about me behind my back? The trust factor, that is so important for all relationships, starts to slip. I have quoted before from the book, Conversational Intelligence. In there, the author Judith Glaser, explains that we have to have trust, to co-create a great relationship with others. Trust can be built up or down in .07 sec of meeting someone. If distrust is stronger we are activating the part of our brain that is related to stress and we produce the hormones adrenaline and cortisol as a result. These chemicals shut down the part of the brain that is the executive brain. The part that makes decisions, is able to share, be open, transparent and inquisitive.
In that .07 sec we are getting messages from the tone of the voice; if we are being made to feel bad or minimised; if we feel we are taking risks and scared that we will be rejected; if we feel excluded or that someone is angry at us; or minimising our power, the stress centre or amygdala pumps out the stress hormones and shuts down the part of the brain that is trying to make decisions. So if you hear someone talk ill of others, your distrust centre, the amygdala, lights up and shuts you down from contributing in an open way. Conversely, if you hear someone speaking up on behalf of a person who is not present, you will relax into the conversation and feel safe.You will put out hormones that create bonding and a feel good factor with that person. In other words you will trust that person.
Enjoy being the person that others can trust.
“Instead of being afraid to start a new chapter in your life, be as excited as you are when reading a really good book and want to know what happens next.”
Here we are half way through 2017. How do you feel the written material on the pages of the left side of your book of life, are looking? Are you excited about the empty pages on the right side of the book? In the last two weeks I have talked about procrastination and sticking your neck out to achieve the results you want in life. I talked about the limiting beliefs that may be holding you back. If they are, you may very well not feel that excited about your future. You may be finding it hard to conjure up any enthusiasm or believe that you can write anything different on the blank pages.
What if you were to ask yourself a question that started with “What if,” expecting a great positive result? The universe is going to match that enthusiastic question with an enthusiastic response. If you can keep that energy high, positive, enthusiastic or excited you will start attracting things into your life that have that sort of energy. We attract what we think about and have an emotional attachment to. I can hear some of you saying, “but I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work.” We have to stay in that energy of belief and enthusiasm for our future for as much time as we can. Thinking about it for 5 minutes in the morning and then resorting to the doubts and fears will just undermine your best intentions.
Enjoy being excited about that new chapter you are about to start!