“When smart people are stuck, they ask for help.” Steve Jobs
Some people would consider that they are showing some sort of ignorance to the world if they asked for help. Others have developed a sense that they don’t need help from other people. Often of course we don’t actually know what we don’t know and therefore don’t reach out for the help we need. Here in New Zealand we are very proud of our DIY attitude to life, but sometimes that can also be our Achilles heel. This can definitely be the case with our own personal development. There is a saying, “that we can’t see the picture if we’re in the frame.”
We can buy a personal development book or a programme and we can understand intellectually what the author is saying, but when it comes to integrating the new practices into our own lives we’re not always sure where to start. Often a good friend can see the things in us that we would benefit from changing but we stay stuck in our old patterns because we don’t ask for the one little clue that could help us improve our relationships at work, with family and friends. What is it going to take you to ask for help from your limiting beliefs and patterns?
Enjoy connecting with another human being by asking for help!
“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.” Rosabeth Moss Kanter
Have you written a vision statement at some point in your past? Maybe you have done more than one as things changed. Either you achieved most of the things in the vision or maybe your life took a change & you headed off down another track. Have you used a vision board? John Assaraf talks about the one he did on the film, “The Secret.” I have a vision board looking at me as I write this. I have a personal development speaker on there, called Jim Rohn. One of his famous quotes was, “To have more, we must first become more.” This is why I think the journey to the desired outcome is as important as the destination. As I work at the moment to make changes in my business, to step up my commitment, I find I’m on a huge learning curve, that can only force me to become more. For those of us who have been on the planet longer than others, some of the technology can really test us.
What is it that you are being tested over? Is this pushing you to become more & step up into the bigger vision you have for yourself. Have you written your vision down, with intimate detail & emotional connection? There are different schools of thought about whether we need to engage with the vision statement daily, that once it is written, the ‘order’ has gone out to the universe, and we don’t need to resolutely read it each day. Others of course say it is paramount. Either way, we do need the words we use to be in the present, don’t use the words don’t or not and so on. The sentences need to be positive. It is considered to be very important to engage with the emotions that you would be feeling if this vision was to be true, so add that. E.g. I love this house I am living in……and describe it. The topping on the cake is to be grateful for these things that have happened, even though they are in the future. Gratitude in itself will raise the emotional bar so we feel the emotions more intensely.
Enjoy committing your vision to ‘paper!’
“Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.” Jim Rohn
I can remember even as a teenager, being acutely conscious of how I spent my time, I didn’t ever want to waste a second. If you agree with Jim Rohn then you are probably applauding my sentiment. But what it has done is made me a slave to time. I feel guilty if I’m a bit frivolous with time, if I choose to allow myself to get lost in catching up with people on facebook. I’m sure you’ve all been there. Maybe not the guilt, as that is such a destructive emotion. Being careful with each minute can be so responsible, but also it can feel like the energy of scarcity. And I don’t want to encourage that one. I was brought up with parents who went through the Depression, and even though we were in what would be termed, a ‘middle class’ family, we had to be so careful of everything! We didn’t waste anything. And there is nothing wrong with that as long as it doesn’t pervade everything you do.
Back in the late ‘90’s my husband and I owned motels. If we had an empty unit tonight we could never ever make that up again. Sure we could fill it tomorrow, but we could never sell that unit on that particular night ever again. Not like a book that will sit on the shelf until it is bought and which day that is, doesn’t make as much difference. So once again I became very conscious that each minute counted. Where is it that you are aware of the clock ticking and that you are not doing with time what you would like? We have to have given this some thought to actually know what we feel about the different ends of the spectrum. And once we have decided that right now I want to sit and do nothing more than enjoy the company of a good friend, then do that without getting anxious about the things you are not getting done off your list. That too is a valuable way to spend our precious time.
Enjoy choosing how to spend your time!
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” Henry Ford
Do you criticise yourself when you don’t reach the standard you have set for yourself or fail? Do you think you did that as a child when you were learning to walk & you fell or ‘failed’ over & over until you GOT IT? I know, it was probably preverbal so you won’t actually remember having to encourage yourself each effort. But that subconscious part of you that does most of the driving, will have been factoring in each off-balance movement you made, so that you could correct that bit next time. Just like a gymnast who has to do each move over & over until the nervous system has GOT IT!
The intelligence that Henry Ford is talking about is exactly that correction of the nervous system to do something differently next time so eventually that groove is so well worn, that that pathway is the most likely path to take. We do this physically all the time but we can do it with any of our emotional and personal development lessons as well. Recognising that and not jumping on the judgement bandwagon will be an encouragement that feels a lot better than the constant criticism. Just tune into your body’s messages. If you have tried something and it hasn’t worked out focus on how you feel about that. If the body is feeling low in energy, heavy or even fearful then you’ve probably just been critical or judgemental. Try turning that experience around and find the learning to apply the next time, so you can begin again “more intelligently!”
Enjoy treating ‘failure’ intelligently!
“I advise you to say your dream is possible and then overcome all conveniences, ignore all the hassles and take a running leap through the hoop, even if it is in flames.” S Les Brown
Les Brown is quoted as saying, “Don’t let anyone else’s opinion become your reality.” Both of these quotes are encouraging us to dream but at the same time, we have to believe that the dream we have is possible, that we can overcome the obstacles and distractions that keep popping up. It is not only other people’s opinions that we allow to become our truth, but our own doubts and self-talk that cloud the vision of what we believe could be possible. I have talked before about the Law of Attraction always working but sometimes we are focusing more on why we can’t have something, rather than why it can happen.
If you really believed in the energetic, quantum physics of the world, what would you be doing to make your dream a reality? Would you be going to the computer shop to find exactly what you want? Would you be looking for a new job that is better than the one you have presently? Would you be scouring the travel pamphlets to find a place that really lights you up? I was in the first category. My computer was dying, so I started looking even though I wasn’t sure how it was going to happen. I had a birthday & my parents, brother & sister pitched in to buy one for me and here I am typing away on it. I hear you. You’re saying, my parents couldn’t afford to do that for me, if they are even alive. I don’t see how my dream is going to happen. If we can let go of the how, we will find that the universe has a heap more ideas than we do with our limited brain capacity – in relation to the universe. This is the hardest part of this deal – to let go of the how and trust that it will happen. We do HAVE TO BE CLEAR of what it is, and the WHY will give us the enthusiasm to take some action steps, even if we have to jump through burning hoops.
Enjoy being part of this process!
“Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential.” Sir Winston Churchill
I flippantly talked about persistence on a recent face book video post as I searched the town for a particular dress up garment I wanted to wear for my birthday party. It paid off. But of course persistence is something we all need if we want to achieve anything of value in life. There is a lot of talk about the Law of Attraction around Asking and Believing. These are 2 very important elements of manifesting our dreams, but we usually can’t just sit in the sun & do nothing as we wait for a suitcase full of money to drop in our lap. Sometimes it may seem that simple because we have asked & we do believe we can achieve that particular goal, but we have usually also done something towards making the dream a reality when it just seems to come into our lives.
Even if you have driven a test vehicle when you want a new car, you are telling the universe you are serious about what you have asked for, that you believe it can be yours even if you have to wait for a while, and that you’re prepared to trudge around the sales yards to find the best deal. You’re ‘acting as if.’ As if you had the money, as if you were ready to buy and as if you were ready to have a serious sales conversation with the dealer. This is a scientific phenomenon of this energetic world that we live in. What are you prepared to be persistent about? Do you know what you want to ask for, that you believe you can achieve and that you know will be worth working for? In his book “Think and Grow Rich,” Napoleon Hill devotes a whole chapter to persistence. But remember you also need the other 2 legs of the stool to stay upright – the asking and believing.
Enjoy asking, believing and persisting, so you can unlock your potential!
“You do not always have to know when you are going to get to your goal, or how you are going to get to your goal, but you do need to take the next step. Peggy McColl
There is a Law of Gender or Gestation. We all know when we put a carrot seed in the ground, when to expect it to start pushing green shoots through the earth & likewise, we have an expectation of how long a human seed is going to take before it is born. The ideas we have are also seeds & once planted, must materialise….as long as we nurture them. The trouble is, most of us get impatient and start to dig up those little seeds before they are ready, and of course that disrupts their growth. Remember that next time you start worrying and doubting that your ideas are going to sprout forth. There are so many stories of people who quit what they were working towards only to find later that they had been so close.
The important aspect is the belief that our ideas are going to sprout, the gestation time just may not be in your timeframe. You have probably heard that it is a good idea to have a strong WHY behind your ideas. This is so that you will keep taking the necessary steps that Peggy McColl is talking about in this quote. When those challenges come along, we have more motivation to keep going if we know WHY we want to move past them and not allow them to get the better of us. However, when we start the journey, we might not know all the steps, these will become apparent as we move forward. We may find there are things we need to learn which helps in the HOW. Letting the universe guide us in that, is important. We will get the answers to our questions about the HOW as we take each step. I certainly had no idea of the trainings I would do along this path to coaching people to get the best out of their lives.
Enjoy the mystery of life as it unfolds!
“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.” anon
This is all about perspective. Just as an acorn doesn’t know how to grow into anything different than an oak tree, the caterpillar knows only to transform into a beautiful butterfly. I chose the butterfly to represent what Rejuvenate is all about – how we can all transform ourselves, shed the story or history of baggage that we drag around with us, & become the butterfly we ‘know’ we can be. A few years ago I was at a huge convention in Las Vegas listening to Jim Rohn, a well-known personal development and motivational speaker. He was talking about a caterpillar crawling. I remember circling the word crawling several times because I felt that was where I was at, at that time. Then he talked about the caterpillar transforming into a butterfly. It was such a vivid time in my life that I remember that occasion well.
What are you wanting to do today that will take you towards your dream? Each day is a ‘brand new baby day.’ As Henry David Thoreau said all those years ago, “If one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams, endeavouring to live the life they are imagining, one passes an invisible boundary. All sorts of things begin to occur that never otherwise would have occurred. One begins to meet with success unexpected in common hours.” Move forward with faith/confidence one step, one day at a time, knowing like the butterfly that you can become your dream whatever your age.
Enjoy stepping into a new story!
Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self.” Eleanor Brownn
No doubt you have all seen those programmes on TV where a professional cleaning team come in and sort out the junk and clutter of a different person’s house each week. The problem is, that unless the underlying reason for the clutter is addressed, the clutter will just escalate again, because usually the cutter is not just a physical problem. There is usually something else that is causing the person to want to collect stuff around them. It could be defined as unnecessary stuff that prevents us from having clarity on some level. There are emotions around collecting it and emotions around letting it go. The emotions could be of fear of letting go, or not having enough; of loss or grief; of scarcity and lack; of safety issues where I need to feel protected; of anger to do with control issues.
There are a whole heap of questions that we can ask to get clarity to help people seeking help to find out things like, “how does the clutter serve me?” It must have some upside or we wouldn’t hang on to these things. As with so many things in life, there are limiting beliefs around clearing clutter, like: “ I won’t be safe without it,” especially if we have tried to get rid of it in the past and we were out of our comfort zone and soon after the clutter started to appear again. There are a lot of questions around how we feel about our clutter that can help uncover the original reasons for starting to allow this stuff to accumulate. Those feelings could be shame, overwhelm, anxiety and lots more.
Enjoy getting to the bottom of your clutter habit!
“As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it’s leaning against the right building.” Jackson Brown Jnr.
So what is the right building? Sometimes that isn’t apparent until we have gone up a lot of rungs. Years ago I had the desire to make clothing for a certain group of women & the timing wasn’t right, so I didn’t do it. But that desire kept burning on. It became a desire that changed focus but I still put a team together to make clothing for a particular group of women. But maybe my ladder was against the wrong building because it wasn’t the success I had hoped for. It was the second ‘failure’ at around that time, and it caused me to doubt my abilities to run a successful business on my own. But something was pushing me onwards, towards a new venture which touches my heart & soul. It is the emotional life coaching that I love to be involved with today. I’m quite sure this particular ladder is up against the right building this time!
Do you know at the core of your being that you are doing exactly what lights you up? Are you giving yourself time amongst the busyness to feel into your body to get that information, to listen to the intuitive nudges we all get each day? Try setting aside that time, set a clock if you need to, so that you can relax knowing you are not going to make yourself late for the next thing on your calendar. Don’t get disillusioned if you’re not hearing the answer straight away. This is an exercise, just like exercising a muscle. You know your muscles don’t bulk up overnight. A word of warning! The mind will continue to chatter. Acknowledge that, then bring your focus back to the breath. This helps to take you out of your head and it’s destructive chatter. I would love to hear how you are going with this small but important exercise. Before you know it the 5 minutes you allowed at the start will become 10 or 15 as you feel the benefits.
Enjoy some still quiet time every day!