“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.” Dr Seuss
Even if you don’t actually laugh at the rhymes of Dr Seuss it’s hard not to feel that lightness in our energy as we follow along with his quirky sense of humour. I recently had to produce a ‘Tall Tale,’ for toastmasters and I realised how serious I must be. I found it quite difficult to tell lies as I saw it. I agreed to be involved because I believed it would be good for me. Often we can open up to the ‘fun’ side of ourselves when we interact with children. I wonder why we don’t do that with adults. I read once that 4 year old children laugh 400 times a day whereas we adults can only crack out 15 times a day. Why is this I wonder!
Too busy, must do this or that before we can relax at lunchtime, after work, the weekend. You get the picture. Life has to be serious, we have to worry our way through life, don’t we? I mean what would happen in the future if we didn’t worry about what might happen and therefore hopefully avert whatever it is. Do you feel you would be judged as an airhead or something similar if you were to bring lightness to your day – and everyone else’s around you I might add? Just think what it would do to our energy and therefore our physiology if we were to bring some lightness to our current situation. Imagine what ideas might come to light to solve your present problems if your brain’s cells got woken up with some fun and nonsense!
Enjoy walking on the light side.
“I failed in some subjects in exams, but my friend passed in all. Now he is an engineer in Microsoft and I am the owner of Microsoft.” Bill Gates
We are constantly being told to follow our dreams. For some people that doesn’t mean sitting exams and getting good marks. However if Bill’s friend wanted to be an engineer, loved the learning process and did well, then his path is obviously meant to be, ‘down the study and get qualifications path.’ I’m sure there are others who follow their passion to be an engineer but take a different route learning through the experience of a job and gaining respect for what they achieve that way. What this story tells me though, is that if I want to do something then I can just get off my butt, follow my dream and I will get there.
The big catch that I have talked about in the past, is, believing that I can achieve my desires. I just watched the movie, “Bohemian Rhapsody,” last night and was captivated by Freddie Mercury’s will to get where he wanted to go, no matter what. He certainly believed that he had what it took to woo the audience to love him and his music. Despite that, there was an undercurrent of the story about his relationship with his father and how desperately he wanted to prove to his father that he was trying to live up to the values that his father had instilled in him. Like a lot of things, that came at a price, until right at the end of the movie, he connected with his father and we got the feeling that all was forgiven. I’ve gone off track here a bit. School exams wouldn’t have necessarily made Freddie a better singer.
Enjoy following your dream and achieving what it is you are here to do!
“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in; their true beauty is revealed only if their light is from within. Elizabeth Kubler Ross
My 96 year old mother recently died and we held the celebration of her life ‘service’ over the weekend. In preparation for this I was searching through quotes and poems that spoke to me about what I felt my mother represented. This was one that I kept aside, but decided in the end, to use a couple of longer poems. It can be easy to be positive and easy to get along with when things are going well, when the stress levels are lower. This is because the chemicals in our brain that relate to positivity, connection and empathy are being released. However it can be a different story once the stress centre of our brain is stimulated to release the chemicals that shut down the part that is good at connecting with other people or seeing the bigger picture.
My Mum was brought up in a time and a household where it was stressed that we live a life putting others before ourselves, and she did this to the end of her life, even in the rest home offering us and the carers a cuppa when she was offered one. Her life revolved around seeing to our needs, the needs of the grandchildren and subsequently great-grandchildren. Those caring habits of a lifetime shone through even when she was in the darkness of dying. This habit of giving first is gaining a lot more recognition again these days. There is a chemistry to giving in both the giver and the receiver that has been measured to improve our physiology, which in turn makes us feel better about ourselves as the giver. However I have concerns, a belief, that in the joy of giving, in the addiction of feeling good, in the putting of others first, that we don’t devalue ourselves. I have clients who decided at a very young age that to be loved or appreciated they had to be selfless and in the process don’t love or appreciate themselves. We have to work through the shadow of being ‘selfish.’ We all have a part of us that can be selfish and if we acknowledge that part and love it because it allows us to do some things that may also impact others as well as ourselves in a positive way. So where in your life are you being selfless or selfish and can you let your light shine in both places?
Enjoy experiencing both ends of the spectrum!
“I believe in the imagination. What I cannot see is infinitely more important than what I can see.” Duane Michals
Napolean Hill wrote the book ‘Think and Grow Rich.’ He devotes a chapter to the imagination and says the imagination is, “the most marvellous, miraculous, inconceivably powerful force that the world has ever known.” And Einstein agreed. He said, “imagination is more important than knowledge – that logic will take you from A to B, but that imagination can take you anywhere.” Children have great imaginations especially from the age of 2 onwards when their brains have been shown to be operating from the same wave pattern as an adult just before they go to sleep – that stage when our imaginations are at their most fertile.
Everyone is creative, not just artists and musicians. The word creator means, from within. In our busy worlds, most of us don’t sit still long enough to allow this part of us to extend our creativity beyond planning our day, or business ideas. Everything physical around us is a manifestation of someone’s thought – their creative thought – their imagination. Even the lady altering the hem on a garment for me said she gets people coming in with several pictures saying they want, “the neck like this, the seams here and so on.” They are using their imaginations to envisage what the garment could look like when finished. Like anything we can develop our imaginations by using them regularly. How does that work for you?
Enjoy developing your imaginations!
“We’re so afraid of failure that we would rather be hit by a car than make mistakes in front of others.” Matt Lieberman Ph.D
I’m not sure how you’ve all been brought up and what the expectations have been from parents and other care givers, siblings or grandparents. These expectations create beliefs about who we are, about our self-worth and whether it is okay to make mistakes or as some would say, have failures. Some people accept mistakes as just part of the learning process and an essential part of learning anything in this life. In fact I have heard of Leaders in big companies believing that it is important that all their staff have had an opportunity to ‘fail,’ that they don’t actually want to let go of staff that they have just spent a lot of money training & giving them a chance to ‘fail forward’ as they say.
But is this your reality? Have you been encouraged to learn by the experience of things not working out as you would have liked, or as others have expected? Do you honestly feel there would be no judgement, criticism, or negative consequences if you didn’t get the perfect result that your spouse or boss would have liked from you? It can be hard to stay out of the trap of shame especially if our belief has also been one of an expectation of a perfect job done. Do you actually do the judgement and criticism of yourself? How long are you going to have to keep putting the red pen through your work, to allow the critical self to have a field day or allow the self-worth to slip a few more notches? It’s time to speak to that inner critic and ask it to let go of the need to be perfect, and be ready with some positive affirmations that you can believe. I’ve made this suggestion before, to put up post it notes that say empowering things. We only learnt the negative through repetition, so why not do the repetition thing around positive thoughts and self-talk.
Enjoy feeling okay about ‘failing!’
“Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances…to choose one’s own way.” – Victor Frankl
This quote of Victor Frankl’s came from his book, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” This originated from his life in a Nazi prisoner of war camp, when everything was taken from them. He noticed that those who had an attitude of survival, did survive. He chose to focus on being one who did survive, and what was going to happen when the war ended and he was released. He knew there was no one else in his family alive so it could have been easy to give up, but he chose to think about the things he enjoyed doing, he focused on playing the piano and he practiced in his head and with his fingers as though he was really playing. He also chose not to let his captors see how much it hurt when they took things away from him – for example his wedding ring.
Where in your life could you change your attitude to the life you are living? Where in your life at the moment does it seem too hard to change? Where are you choosing to ignore the pain of the reality you seem to be living and changing how you would like to see your life evolving? This sounds simple and it is, but it isn’t easy. We have to be committed to making the changes. We have to change the thoughts we have in our heads, the beliefs we have, that our life has to be a certain way that is not what we want, or then the emotions we experience because of the thoughts and beliefs. Noting how we are feeling is an indication of what we might be thinking or what beliefs we have about our relationships, career, money etc. So I repeat, where in your life could you change your attitude to the life you are living?
Enjoy changing your habitual dis-empowering attitudes!
“Don’t just read the easy stuff. You may be entertained by it, but you will never grow from it.” Jim Rohn
This quote is true not only for books but for everything that happens in life. WE do our best growing from the hard experiences that we have had to deal with throughout our lives. If we just sailed along there would be so many things we missed out on. Whether it is some medical condition or whether it is being bullied at school, these are opportunities for growth. Often these ‘setbacks’ give us the courage to stand strong for ourselves. Often they set us on a course for our purpose in life. How many times have you heard of people who have found their ‘calling’ from what could only be described has hard, traumatising experiences?
A few years ago I read a book titled, “Thank God I…” This was compiled from a lot of different people, each writing a chapter, who had had experiences that could only be described as traumatic or very stressful, by most of us. They were encouraged to find the ‘gift’ in each of their situations and all the ones who had written for the book seemed to have achieved that goal. So often that incident or experience had set them on a new path to a fulfilling career, to a more loving relationship or leading a movement to right the wrong that had been done. They had all reached a point where they could say, “Thank God I…” The mere fact of showing gratitude for the things that have happened in our lives can do wonders for our physiology. If you are not doing that, give it a go, even for the little things that happen on a daily basis.
Enjoy challenging yourself so you are not just entertained by life!
“The cyclone derives its power from a calm centre. So does a person.” Norman Vincent Peale
No doubt you know the poem by Rudyard Kipling that starts, “If you can keep your head, when all about you are losing theirs & blaming it on you.” This immediately came to mind when I saw this quote. It can be empowering to think we have learnt to manage our emotions, to stay calm under pressure and to recognize that we can all be like the eye of the storm, if we make the decision to do so. I recently read an affirmation that started, “In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and way, I’m now….. This shows those around you that you are capable of maintaining composure at the centre of the vortex.
How would you like to finish that sentence so that you would feel empowered to step into something you have been waiting to do? Waiting for the right time or the right circumstances, to help you feel that now is the time to do whatever? How about making that time NOW! It is up to us to create the circumstances we want. Do you think you could stay calm and focus on this thing or attribute? Does it give you a sense of excitement or power, to even think about staying calm as you take those next steps towards your dreams? Next time you watch the water go down the drain listen and watch where the noise and swirling goes on.
Enjoy feeling the power as you stay calm in the eye of the storm!
“And the funny thing about creating things, folks: we are creators. Nothing comes to us. Everything comes through us, from us. Everything in this world that happens to us comes from here, not out here. And everything that you have in your life is exactly what you designed, the dress you’re wearing, the coat you’re wearing, the tie you’re wearing, the necklace you’re wearing, the home you’re living in, the neighbours you’ve got, the friends you’ve got and the Senators you’ve got. So don’t blame me for people that you attracted.” Earl Schoaff, Jim Rohn’s mentor.
Jim Rohn was probably the first speaker that I listened to on ‘audio tapes’ a lot when I first started on my personal development road. He often referred to his mentor but I hadn’t seen any of his work. There is so much evidence now about how we create our world, how we attract to us, the vibrational match for who we are, how we are feeling and thinking. When Earl Schoaff was uttering these words it was from a place of ‘knowing,’ but probably not from the background of the physics that has been done since then. There is still so much we don’t know.
I have spoken before about the people who are attracting what they don’t want but they are so attached energetically to what they don’t want, that they can’t see that energy flowing through them day in and day out. For some it is completely a lack of awareness that they can change their behaviour. For others it is an awareness of knowing how they can attract the things they want, but they are a vibrational match for that for such a short period of the day, that the other energy that they feel dominates. So what can you do daily to remind yourself throughout the day, of how you want to feel, the beliefs you want to have and the thoughts you want to be focusing on? The first thing is to remind yourself constantly is to notice what it is that you are feeling, thinking and believing in any given moment. If you don’t want to have those feelings, thoughts or beliefs then it is up to you to change them then & there. Remind yourself of what you have already decided to put in place for these occasions – a word, a phrase, some positive empowering thought.
Enjoy your mindfulness practice!
“The art of being wise, is knowing what to overlook.” William James
At the end of the day the question we have to ask ourselves is, “Will this matter in a year or even 6 months from now?” The art of overlooking is never tested as sorely as when we have children. Tidy bedrooms, beds made, dyed hair, studs in the tongue. At the end of the day we have to make a judgement call. Aah the word judgement. I was having a conversation with a friend recently because judgement has been tied to criticism and we were discussing how we still need judgement to get ourselves out of trouble, to get a feel for how far away that approaching car is and so on.
Today I was reading a series of blogs and one was about judgement. Rachael Jayne Groover was saying that judgement can help us choose, even down to which groceries we want; it can help us let go of situations that are causing anxiety, when we judge what is real or imagined; judgement helps us see red flags to sense what situation is or isn’t right for you. Connecting regularly with that part of you that is wise, will help you judge and know what to overlook.
Enjoy overlooking minor things!