Change Others or Change Yourself!



“Before you try to change others, remember how hard it is to change yourself.”  Bill Bluestein

Covid-19 has certainly sorted us out. Those of us who always work from home anyway and nothing much has changed; those of us who have had to bring our business home, our kids and their schoolwork home and our partners trying to work from home as well, creating a stressful chaotic time; those of us who have decided to make the most of the stay home enforcement and spent time in nature, doing the yoga provided on TV, and generally spending time looking inwards. Whatever our circumstances there may have been things that have cropped up, that boldly stare us in the face and tell us it is time to change.

When looking at the conscious and subconscious minds the conscious part is like the piece of iceberg above the water.  It is with the conscious or intellectual mind that we make our New Year’s resolution or other statements from our will.  However the subconscious is the part under the water that actually controls everything we do.  It remembers everything we have done and said. It wants to keep us safe from repeating things it sees as a mistake or failure from our past. So when we try to work on a new habit it keeps telling us there is no point because we messed up last time, or whatever your story is.  We may need to look beyond the obvious when we have difficulty changing some of those habits. E.g. eating too much, smoking!

Recognizing those unhelpful or limiting beliefs are there, and that they no longer hold true, starts us on the road to making the changes we really want to make.  We probably have our work cut out to spend that time on ourselves rather than focusing on the habits of our closest and dearest.  Before thinking about what needs to be changed in others it may pay to take a long hard look in the mirror.

It may also be helpful to realize, that what we have noticed in others, is probably something we would recognize in ourselves if we turned the attention inwards.  And strange as it may seem, if we make those changes within ourselves what then is reflected back to us has changed.  Which takes me back to the quote I have on my website, “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”

Enjoy making the necessary changes in yourself!

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