“You can spend your time alone re-digesting past regrets, or you can come to terms and realize you’re the only one who can forgive yourself, makes much more sense to live in the present tense” Eddie Vedder
When I was a teenager, I remember thinking why should I forgive myself, what rights have I got to do that, when I’ve done something that others may have not liked. And I’ve hung in there with the judgement & criticism of myself, until the next demeanour came along. I saw the Catholics going to the priest for absolution of their sins & thought that was wrong because once they had that off their chest they could go out & do it all over again. I don’t know whether they did or not, but I’m sure they felt better about what they had done because the priest had done the sign of the cross over them & sent them on their way.
It has taken a long time to allow myself to forgive the things that I don’t like about what I have done. Let’s face it, in the scheme of things, they don’t really look too bad. If a murderer gets to turn their life around, then surely I should be able to do the same. Depends on my level of energy as to how much I can turn my back on those messages I had when growing up. Those messages that were trying to turn me into an upright citizen of this world. I’m grateful that I had an upbringing from parents who cared enough to remind me what society expected of me. But sometimes I wish those voices of judgement would stop. How much longer do I have to feel bad, when all I have to do is acknowledge that we all make mistakes right now & move forward.
Enjoy forgiving yourself & moving confidently on to the next step!