“Honesty doesn’t have to be brutal, but it has to be honest.” Simon Sinek
I remember when I was doing my coaching training. We had to do an exercise where we told each of the others in the class something that we didn’t like about them. Now sometimes we think we would give our eye teeth, as the saying goes, to tell someone what we thought of them. However in an exercise like this it can be quite difficult, much easier on the whole to say something pleasant or positive. One of the young guys in my group said he didn’t like how I was always honest. Now that came as a bit of a shock to me as I had always prided myself on my honesty.
In my manual of that course there was a section on communication styles. Lo & behold there was a name for the type of honesty I was portraying, Truth Mongering! As I read the description I realised this was definitely one of my styles. Always feeling I had to tell the truth and call a spade a spade. As I said earlier I prided myself on my honesty. And yes I can still feel the need to let nothing go unchallenged, I’m direct, forthright and can be argumentative to make sure the facts are clear. So this quote is definitely for me this week, to remind me how being brutally honest can upset people.
I talked last week about the epigenetics training I am doing – in fact I gave up some lovely weather to sit at my computer and learn more. Once we know the ‘Healthtype’ of person we are, and we are able to recognise other people by their shape and traits, we can learn to moderate our style to connect better with the person we are communicating with in this moment. An amazing skill to learn, because so much of life is about relationships and communication.
Do you think you have any of the traits I have mentioned? Take a moment and think about how you communicate and whether there is a need to make a tweak so that your message is understood and received. It is important to master your ability to communicate or connect with other human beings.
Enjoy communicating with honesty but without brutality!