“Rather than sweating to manage your image, manage your fear and insecurity thoughts that tell you that you have to get people to like you.” Alan Cohen
I have a string of women clients who in some shape or form are being driven by the conditioned thoughts that were set up when they were little people. I know there are men out there who feel the same but they tend not to seek advice as much or certainly not from a female coach. But I’m sure their image is there, but it is different. It is important to them that they have a performance image, that they have a good job, that they are providing for their families and that they have the latest toys. For women it is more about how well they are able to hold down a job and manage the children and their activities at the same time. How well they appear to have it all together, to keep up with the men if they want to be promoted, still have the meals sorted and look well-groomed and the ‘smarts’ to go with it.
It is like a treadmill, at the very least maintaining the status quo for both sexes, but not stopping to understand why they allow themselves to be pulled into this stream that is like the vortex of the plug hole. If we can look back to the fears and insecurities we had as children, it will go some way to explaining why we are doing what we are doing. It doesn’t have to be like that, we don’t have to continue to try and please others who have now taken the place of the parents or adults who had these expectations of us as children. We can choose today, to let go of the fears and insecurities we are holding on to. It is not our job to try and make people like us. It is our job to connect to our feelings and if we don’t like what we are feeling, connect with the times we have felt good and allow ourselves to feel that and as we can, to amp that up. Turn up the dial and remind yourself, what they think is not about me!
Enjoy feeling the bliss and allowing others to have their opinions without it bothering you!