“Be with someone who brings out the best in you, not the stress in you.”
Have you got the habit of tuning into your body’s wisdom? If so, you will be able to get the message somewhere in your body that tells you whether it feels relaxed and comfortable around this person but feels ‘tight’ or ‘disempowered’ around that person. Remember, that who stresses you, may not stress others you know. Often the people who stress us are the ones who trigger something in us because their behaviour or way of being, is also something in us that we don’t think is acceptable. We may have been brought up to believe that certain behaviours are not acceptable in society. As an adult we may know in our conscious minds that this belief is not necessarily the truth but our subconscious is the one running the show, and it doesn’t want you to exhibit a behaviour that may get you into trouble.
Although it may feel better to constantly be around people who bring out the best in us, we can get some real learning about ourselves from those who stress us. Next time someone creates a reaction in us that doesn’t feel good, have a look at what it is about their behaviour that is setting off the alarm bells. What can you learn from it? We all have all emotions in us, it is just that our upbringing may have taught us we shouldn’t be angry or show strong emotion in public, or any number of things. You will probably know what it is for you. There is a price to pay for constant monitoring and control. It is very tiring holding onto those emotions from appearing in public. Find some way of releasing those emotions in a safe way and allow yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions. Accept yourself for all behaviours. Look in the mirror and say I am weak or needy or whatever ‘pushes your buttons.’ Once you can accept that yes, we all have all these tendencies, watch those reactions dissipate and you wonder why you found them so stressful in the past.
Enjoy learning from those who stress you!