“The art of being wise, is knowing what to overlook.” William James
At the end of the day the question we have to ask ourselves is, “Will this matter in a year or even 6 months from now?” The art of overlooking is never tested as sorely as when we have children. Tidy bedrooms, beds made, dyed hair, studs in the tongue. Our beliefs can affect these thought processes. At the end of the day we have to make a judgement call. Aah the word judgement. I was having a conversation with a friend recently because judgement has been tied to criticism and we were discussing how we still need judgement. Some may call it discernment, but being able to discern or judge with a clear mind can keep us safe, can help us to keep our relationships intact or feel comfortable with the decisions we have made.
Recently I was reading a series of blogs and one was about judgement. Rachael Jayne Groover was saying that judgement can help us choose, even down to which groceries we want; it can help us let go of situations that are causing anxiety, when we judge what is real or imagined; judgement helps us see red flags to sense what situation is or isn’t right for you. Understanding what is going on in the brain when we immediately react or jump to conclusions can help us to learn that we can do it differently if we choose to. At the start it may seem impossible to change our reactions. Being aware of your automatic brain reaction after it has happened is the first step, then noticing when you are in the midst of it, then finally bringing it back to priming yourself to be prepared and choose how you want to behave BEFORE an event. It is then so much easier to stay calm under apparent attack. That other person may be triggered by something very innocent and is smarting from their own judgements. Connecting regularly with that part of you that is wise, will help you judge and know what to overlook.
Enjoy overlooking minor things!